Running on Empty

I have been feeling pretty exhausted lately, and I'm not really sure why. Well, obviously, I'm busy creating life, as my friend calls it, but I am more tired lately that I was in the 1T. I know everyone reacts to pregnancy differently, but I certainly wasn't expecting to be feeling run down now when I only briefly felt like that at the beginning. Maybe I just have a virus or a bug of some sort, as I had a sore throat last week. I never know if my constant sinus pressure/drainage/sniffling is a cold or just simply pregnancy rhinitis. I'm guessing the latter since it seems to be pretty constant in my life these days. It's like the gift that keeps on giving!

I'm starting to look at things like crib bedding, etc as we prepare to start the nursery. I feel so strangely detached from things sometimes, I don't know quite how to explain it. I feel badly saying that, like it is suggesting that I'm not thrilled to BE in a place to be looking at crib bedding and nursery designs. See, I was never one of those girls who dreamed of her wedding day or having kids. It's not that I didn't care about or want those things, I just didn't focus on it. I enjoyed my time to myself and with friends, going out, traveling, etc. When I first got the BFP, someone asked me if I was so excited to starting looking at baby stuff in the store. Honestly? Not really. At first, obviously, we didn't want to get ahead of ourselves before things were more certain. Now that they ARE more certain, I'm starting to get the itch, but I wouldn't say I'm more interested to look at baby stuff than I am stuff for me. I feel like that sounds so selfish and ungrateful! Maybe it's because D and I have never really been around babies before. We are pretty clueless and honestly pretty apprehensive about what is to come. Becoming new parents is scary! I will admit it; we are terrified! Maybe I'm just using these last few months as time to get my "me" time out of my system. After 32 years of pretty constant "me time", it will obviously be an adjustment to have that time take a backseat to our son's needs.

After going through IF, it's hard for me to be comfortable admitting on here that I'm a bit freaked out about having a baby, but it's how I'm currently feeling. I hope no one takes offense to that and thinks I'm not grateful to be here.

1 Month. Really? REALLY?

So I got some news today. Um, my younger sister is pregnant. Now, I knew she was trying, but they JUST started trying. Yep, it took 1 month. Obviously it only takes many couples 1 month, but I just didn't think it would happen for them so soon. Well, I suppose I should have, as she is That Girl whose life has pretty much been perfect, you know the type....straight A's, very popular, Prom Queen, got the first job she applied for out of college, has always had boys lined up to date her, the list goes on.... Needless to say things have not been that easy for me growing up, but I'm not trying to say my life has been difficult. I don't want to give the wrong idea!

Obviously I am happy for her, for them, but I just can't imagine how I would feel right now if I wasn't already pregnant. I have NO idea how I would possibly be able to handle that!

It will be great to have cousins so close in age, but too bad they live 4 hours away.

They were so sure it would take them a bit of time that they have a trip to London planned in March. I would be lying if I didn't admit there's a tiny bit of me who wishes her lots of morning sickness, because I didn't have any :-))

Beautiful Blogger Award

Thank you Erika for the Beautiful Blogger Award. I am thrilled to "meet" an IF'er who lives in the same town!

*Copy Award to paste on your blog

*Write 7 interesting things about you

* Nominate 7 others to receive the award

Well, since I have done something similar on here previously, I will try to think of something interesting that I haven't already rambled about relentlessly.

• I am addicted to reading magazines have subscriptions to 6 of them, but they have been getting very neglected lately in favor of reading blogs!

• I was a gymnast from ages 4-18, but track is the sport I was better at. The 4x200 meter relay that my sister and I both ran together still holds the school record and earned us a medal at the state tournament.

• I can't imagine my life without music, and I have been to over 60 concerts. However, I don't have a musical bone in my body, and I mostly dislike listening to Top 40 music unless I'm working out.

• I was born almost 7 weeks early and only weighed 3 lbs 11 oz at birth. The doctor told my mom I would probably always be small, but I was the tallest child in my entire class until 7th grade when some of the boys started catching up. I have not grown since.

• I love shopping, but I rarely pay full price for anything. I am a true bargain shopper and love scoring a good deal. I have purchased many pairs of designer jeans on Ebay and sold some too!

• I have to fire people for my job. It used to give me anxiety, but I have gotten over it. Sometimes it's even kind of fun when they totally deserve it!

• Sometimes I wish I had gone to law school for Employment Law, but I have way too short of an attention span for more school!

I am going to take the easy way out here and nominate anyone who regularly reads my blog for this award. You all are beautiful bloggers, and I look forward to reading your new posts every day!

New Jeans, Go Badgers and other Random Thoughts

So baby Wilkie has already been to 3 Badger basketball games this year and is heading to another one next week! He is a lucky boy, and he's not even here yet!(the games are all sold out every year). Luckily my dad hooks me up sometimes. Big game tomorrow night against MSU! Go Bucky!


In addition to my Costco adventures this weekend, I also went to Old Navy...umm...3 times, because that's how I roll. They had mega sales going on, and I'm famous for buying things and immediately returning them. So. While I was browsing clearance racks, I came across maternity jeans. I know! They don't SELL maternity stuff in the stores in town, so I have no idea what they were doing there. Someone must have returned them to some poor unsuspecting sales clerk who didn't realize what they were! So they were cute jeans, the low-rise kind that more or less look like regular pants. Of course they weren't on clearance like everything else, but being able to try them on is enough of a bonus IMO. They were even in my size, so of course I had to buy them if for no other reason than the fact that they are way less ugly than what I have found thus far. But....they are kind of weird. The front is very low, as it goes under your belly, and then they are higher in the back. However, there really isn't anything keeping them in place. The waist is actually pretty big, and either my stomach isn't there yet or they are just weird. They felt like they were going to fall down this AM, so I decided they needed some sort of belt. Of course my belts don't fit me now, so I improvised and used a "belt" that normally goes with a wrap dress. I had to tie it in front, and then weave the long stands back through the belt loops so they lie flat. Just call me MacGyver! Every time I stand up I feel like I need to adjust them, so I really can't decide if they are worth keeping. Maybe they just need a regular belt. I read some reviews online, and many people said they hated them because they always felt like their crack was hanging out or they were falling down! The experiment continues.





And on a completely unrelated topic, I think I may have mentioned my co-workers sister who sees my same RE. She got a BFP on her 1st RE cycle with just Clomid, but she had am ectopic. She's had a couple failed injectible cycles since then, and most recently what she thought was a 3rd failed injects cycle. She started "AF" right on time. However, it never turned into a "normal" AF, so she called the clinic. They told her to take a HPT, and it was positive! Her betas were good. But last week at 6 weeks, since started bleeding heavily. So she went in and found out she was indeed losing the pregnancy, but the OTHER one was okay. So yep, there were 2 gestational sacs that they were unaware of, and now the other one seems okay! What a rollercoaster of emotions to go through, I can't even imagine. I was talking to D about this situation, and he asked "we're out of the woods now for a m/c, right?" I just felt like that was such a sweet question. Like I, he has been SO worried this whole time that the other shoe is going to drop...that it will never quite be smooth sailing for us. It got me to thinking though, that I wasn't sure it would be considered a m/c anymore, but rather a premature birth from this point out (or maybe from 24 weeks, since I think that is technically considered the viability mark). SCARY.

Seriously, there is always something new to worry about. I do feel like I have come a long way from the worrying I was doing at the beginning though. I am not sure I will ever really just relax though. I guess IF does that to you.