Snore + Sneaky Hospital Pic

So last night I was actually feeling pretty positive and patting myself on the back for having a relatively good attitude about being here. I felt really good for making a smart, responsible choice to stay here and be monitored.  Yesterday went really quickly, and I didn't even get nearly as much actual work done as I was planning to do.  My BFF came last night to bring me dinner, and we hung out and shopping online for a couple of hours.  The night flew by.  I felt like I was constantly on the phone or emailing/texting. 

Today, however, is a completely different story, and I have no real idea why. I totally feel down and out. Maybe it's just the idea that it's Saturday, and it's nice and sunny out here again, so it REALLY sucks to be trapped in here.  I actually got back to sleep after Dr. McDbag made his 6:30 appearance and didn't get up til 9!  My dad and stepmom were stopping by on their way to the airport to say hi at 9:30.  I felt so tired and crabby and not in the mood for visitors at all.  It's really hard to feel like enteraining people in this tiny little room when I'm just lying here like a slug in sweats.  Luckily they didn't stay too long.  But then D and my MIL, SIL, and her 2 kids came.  There is only 1 little couch/cot in here that barely seats 2 people. So everyone else has to stand around awkwardly.  His mom is already the type of person who just sits there and stares at me, having nothing to say b/c we have nothing in common. Today she made me feel like an animal in the zoo!   Ugh.  She wants to come "keep me company" at home sometime next week.  Seriously, I'd rather hurl myself out of the window right now.  I will have to find a way to ensure she doesn't come.

The OT came by to give me some light (VERY, VERY light) exercises I can do to stretch my muscles, and to also go over some mental "coping" activities for being here.  She said to make sure to brush off comments from people who say things like "wow, I wish I was on bedrest, must be so nice to just lie around and have people wait on you". She said people have no idea how hard and frustrating it is to be here, and how you're giving up your freedom completely without being able to control it.  She said she knows how frustrating it is to physcially feel fine, but to have to just lie here like an invalid.   I couldn't agree more. I'm glad she said that, as I have gotten a few of those comments and they irritated the shit out of me!  

It's a lot quieter around here on the weekends, and I just feel depressed to be here now. This wasn't how my 3T was supposed to go! 

And seriously, the commercials for the Back.Up Plan with J.Lo annoy the piss out of me.  That movie looks horrible.  Not that I would expect anything more than that from her, but ugh. Please get off my TV!

Well, since I'm so full of cheer today, I will stop typing now!

Party in My Room

Well, I am still benched here in the hospital, and it's going to be one rocking weekend!  My doctor came by this AM and gave me a choice, that I COULD go home if we really wanted to, but that I needed to understand the risks with an abruption. That they are completely unpredictable, and there's no way to determine if everything will remain stable. Most likely it will, but if the placenta breaks free completely, and I'm not at the hospital, I would have very little time to get here.  The baby could potentially be in jeopardy.  She said that risk is really, really low, and she wasn't going to tell us what to do.  So I called D and we talked it over, and we decided I should stay the weekend just for further monitoring. Dr. H said if things are calm this weekend, she would have no problems releasing me on Monday.  She said the more time that passes without bleeding/contractions, etc, she will be more assured that things will continue to be fine.

She said many people with an abruption don't have further issues beyond the initial "tear", but there is just no way to gaurantee that.  What a roller coaster!  The thought of staying the whole weekend here makes me feel ill, but I will obviously get over it!  Some of my coworkers stopped by today and brought me some treats and some trashy magazines, so that was cool. They also told me to not worry about doing work from here; that it was fine, and they would just take over the things that involved me being present. They are a great group to work with. I have a work shower planned for 5/12, but they said they would be willing to move up the date and have it at my house instead!

I also got wheelchair priviledges this afternoon, so D took me outside!  Woo!  It was the excitement of my whole day!

A little side story:  the residents are the ones who come around early in the AM doing rounds. The same one has come my last 2 mornings here, each time waking me up by crouching by my bed in the dark and basically just asking how my night was and if I have questions (thanks for waking me up for that, dude!). But as far as I can tell without my contacts at the crack of dawn, he is a hottie. But again, it's more just that he sounds cute, hard to tell with the aforementioned blindness and dark room.  I called him Dr. McDreamy to the nurse, and she started laughing and said "oh, you mean Dr. McDouchebag?"  LOL.  Guess he's not so dreamy at all.  Oops!    

Lather, Rinse, Repeat

Hey everyone, guess where I am?  Yep, back in the hospital hanging out again, twiddling my thumbs!

The spotting/cramping continued on and off through the afternoon but got better in the evening last night. I decided to give it overnight (b/c I really didn't want to return to the hospital so soon!), and call my doctor this AM if need be.  I spotted more in the middle of the night and had worsening cramping.  I called this AM, and they told me to head back to L & D, pack a bag, and plan for an "extended stay" here.  Fantastic.  So I packed everything I could think of, and we hauled it here.  I went through triage again, where they hooked me up to the montior, did the speculum exam, the same song and dance as Monday night. They determined that my "cramps" were indeed contractions, but that my cervix is still closed, and the blood was old blood rather than active blood.  They had the monitor on for an hour or so, and they determined the baby was "tolerating" things just fine, and that I wasn't in labor.

So they sent me back here to the "family birth suites" room where I stayed yesterday.   They just do vitals every 4 hours here, no fetal monitoring unless I get worse.  I haven't been spotting in hours, even after the exam, so that is good. She said they cleaned out all the "old blood" in there, so that must be why.  The resident told me that if I absolutely HAD to go home they would let me, but they preferred to keep me tonight.  I agreed.  Now my doctor has to decide my fate when she does rounds tomorrow.  I have a feeling she isn't going to be real jazzed to let me go home again, since she is the one who sent me back here today and told me to plan to stay awhile.

Each doctor seems to have a different opinion, and I get to see whomever is on call at the time.  So some of them like to have no spotting for 24 hours, 48 hours, or even 2 weeks before letting people go home. I think my doctor is in the 24 hour camp, so that is good.  I only live 7 miles from here; it's not like it's hard for me to get back here if I need to!   Plus, I talked to my employer today, and while they are okay with me working from home, they for some reason feel that some of my job duties such as doing phone screens, setting up interviews, etc are "inappropriate" for a hospital room. I don't really get that, to be honest with you.   This is a private room with a door, so it's not like I'm broadcasting private matters anywhere! 

So hopefully if all goes well tonight, I can be released to go home again!  They said I could potentially keep spotting and everything would be fine if they baby continues to tolerate my "irritated uterus" fine. So we shall see!  I know I am in good hands here, and hopefully things remain status quo so I can keep working and getting paid for another few weeks!

Home Sweet Home

Well, I made it home today after the 2nd steroid shot.  The cramps/contractions/whatever they were seemed much improved, and my spotting was done to mainly nothing.  It was also dark brown, and what they are primarily concerned with is red blood.

So I walk in the door and went pee.  MORE SPOTTING.  *SIGH*  Seriously, I JUST GOT HERE!  GRRRRR!   I am just going to monitor closely for the time being. I really don't want to end up back in the hospital after I just left there.  They weren't even monitoring me closely anymore when I was there. They would take my vitals every 4 hours and that is about it.   I don't need to be admitted so I can have my BP and temp taken!  

So hopefully my uterus is just reacting from the sudden burst of activity it took to get me home and will settle down.   I am having trouble wrapping my head around bed rest!  I am normally a very active person. Besides working out almost daily, I generally don't like to sit around home much at all.  I am always out running errands, just b/c I must prefer having little things to do versus just lounging around.  I guess I better get used to it.  I am extremely thankful that my employer is letting me work from home until further notice. I really don't want to have to start using my earned time or FMLA time already!  Of course, they are under the impression that I may be released to come back to work at least part time, so that would be wonderful if it actually happened at some point.  I never thought I would be  so excited to "get" to go to work!

Still Here

Thanks everyone for the well wishes.  I am still here in the hospital and "get" to stay tonight as well. BOOO!
I was really hoping to get to go home today.  I feel like such a sitting duck around here.  I have not had further bleeding though, so that is a very good thing. I did have the u/s a little while ago, and they said everything looked good. Apparently when placenta abruptions are small, they aren't visable on a scan, and they couldn't see mine.  Baby weighs 4.4 lbs already!  That is more than I weighed at birth :)

My doctor stopped by to chat with me.  Her suggested plan of attack included giving me 2 steroid shots to mature his lungs should I go into labor all of a sudden in the next couple of weeks. She said abruptions are really hard to gauge, and you have really no way to predict if it will do nothing for 8 more weeks, or if it will suddenly turn into a bigger deal.  So if all goes well and I don't have more bleeding/cramping/contractions, I can go home tomorrow after my 2nd shot.  

She wants me to be off work for a week, and then if all goes well, I can probably resume a shortened work schedule to see how it goes.

So that's where I'm at now.  Just hanging out at the hospital. I no longer have the IV hooked up, nor is the baby monitor strapped to me.  So it feels kind of lame to be here when I could be just as easily hanging out in the comfort of my home!  Oh well, obviously they know what they're doing around here.  They keep asking to check my pad to check out my bleeding!  And if I change it, I'm supposed to save the old one for them to see!  Can't say I'm jealous of that job!

Well. Didn't See That Coming

So yeah.  I am in the hospital on bedrest for monitoring.  WTF.  I started bleeding rust colored blood after dinner tonight.  I called the nurse on call, and upon asking me tons of questions and reading the notes in the system from my appt on Saturday and my chat with the nurse earlier today, she told me to go to L and D to be checked out.  They did a speculum exam and the resident told me she'd check with the doc and probably send me home.  Uh yeah.  Not home.  Admitted.  I am having apparent contractions that I can't feel, and they think I have a placenta abruption, although a slight one.   So I'm GUESSING that is why I felt like shit all weekend with weird pains.   I have an u/s in the morning so they can see WTH is going on in there.  The doctor on call came to pay me a visit, and I asked if this meant I was likely going to be on bedrest.  She said, yes, it was likely.  *SIGH*.  I asked if I was going to be going back to work. She said "unlikely".   *SIGH*. 
Holy shit can things change in 2 hours!   I walked on the treadmill for 40 minutes tonight and felt great!  She said working out doesn't cause this, btw....they don't know what does. 

Fucking fantastic.   I still have 8 weeks to go!  Holy hell. Bed rest TERRIFIES me.

Will post more tomorrow.