Thanks everyone for the well wishes. The babies and I are doing well. I came home today, but they will be in the hospital another couple of weeks most likely. They are both breathing on their own and eating from a bottle some of time; everyone is very pleased with their progress. Jude has graduated from the incubator into an open-air bassinet. I was treking back and forth to the NICU, which was one floor down from my room. Yesterday I walked/shuffled back and forth 3 times, which proved to make me more sore after I feel like I had made some progress with that. I also kept getting lost, and would shuffle by the nurse's station, and then shuffle by a minute later, totally forgetting the right way like a total moron.
I keep thinking (obsessing) about what I should have done regarding delivery, although I am fully aware that it doesn't matter, there's not a right answer, and it's about 2 healthy babies and NOT about me. However, now that I can't drive for TWO weeks (WTF?!) and can't lift Liam, etc. I can't help but think I should have just pushed them out. Especially since labor was so ridiculously fast. I mean, they had to stop me from pushing! But I don't think there would have been time for an epidural (screw that!), and I do know that a fast labor does not equal a fast/simple delivery. I also know that it is surely nice to not have a busted up vag again! I don't think I was quite prepared for the magnitude of c-section pain though, and just like the aftermath of a vaginal, no one quite prepares you for the first time you must get out of bed after a c-section. That shit HURTS. And holy helpless I was for all of Wednesday. I was like a bed-ridden, drugged up mess (but no busted vag and I already had a good poop!)
I do have mild pre-eclampsia, and now I'm on some blood pressure meds, as the #s just weren't coming down like they had hoped. I could have stayed in the hospital 1 more night, but I wanted to come home. I missed Liam! He was staying with D's parents this whole time, but they brought him back tonight, and now my mom is here. D was in a wedding today/tonight. Of all the shitty timing. I knew I wouldn't be able to deal with L by myself tonight, so I'm glad my mom is here. She hasn't been here over night that many times though, so I almost feel like it's more stressful to have her here when she doesn't have the nighttime routine down pat. Oh well. I know I needed help.
I think we are going to take L to meet the babies tomorrow. We have been going back and forth on how to best accomplish this. We knew we didn't want him to come there while I was still in the hospital, as we thought it would be rough and confusing for him to have to "leave" me there. But if we all go there together from here, and then come back here again, it might be easier. We shall see!
What a conflicting feeling to not want to leave the hospital and the babies, but to really want to come home and see Liam. I know that babies are not ready to come home though; they are in the best place for them right now. Olive is doing some phototherapy for her jaundice scores today, but she hadn't needed it until today. I hated seeing here there with those giant paper glasses on under the bright light :( Hopefully her scores tomorrow will be better!
That's all I've got. Mama needs some more Vicodin, shower and bed.
4 comments:
((HUGS)) Hope the babies are ready to come home soon. And I hope the section pain quickly disappears, or is at least easily managed. I wouldn't dwell on the woulda, shoulda, couldas. I don't think you plan to do it again so no sense trying to figure out the least painful option. I get the sense neither really is all that pain-free during recovery.
Your dr said you can't drive for two weeks!? Is that the norm? I didn't have that restriction (or if I did, I completely ignored it because I was discharged after 4 days and driving back to the nicu by myself the next damn day.) Ah, hugs to you, there's always something we wish had gone a bit differently. I hope the babies get to come home soon (although truly, if those nicu nurses are good, they'll come home knowing their days and nights and on a bit of a schedule which is heaven!) Hey you babies - eat and grow and breathe and temp control and all those good things so you can GO HOME! :)
The resident told me I could drive as long as I'm not taking Vicodin anymore, but my actual OB, who is one of the most popular in the whole HMO has a 2-week rule. *SIGH*
My OB had a 6 weeks rule. I was explained it was to prevent trauma and tearing from sudden hard braking. I started to drive earlier (gosh, I had no choice but drive the munchkin for a jaundice test at 5 days, that hurt!) but I would drive like 30 mpg. Ha!
I hope you will feel like normal very soon. I was told there was a magic turn-point at 6 weeks, and there really was!
I hope you are getting more and more snuggle times with those gorgeous babies and that they may go home soon!
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