Good Times

So the symptoms are evidently in full swing now! I feel more tired each day, and fairly queasy on and off, and sometimes dizzy. It is definitely making things seem more real. The food cravings/aversions are really weird; it's like an alien has taken over my body! Something I normally like will sound good one day but not the next. Or sound good in the morning but not in the afternoon. This is going to make meal planning and grocery shopping rather challenging I think! My bras are all tight, and my pants also. I'm still a bit paranoid about buying too many baby things, although I did find a pair of good maternity jeans on sale at Ol.d Na.vy for $6! Too good to pass up, especially since I can wear jeans to work a lot of the time. They are still way too big, but good to know they are there when the time comes.

After my u/s, I gave my mom the green light to tell my grandparents and my aunts, and she somehow took away from that conversation that she could tell anyone. So she told her longtime co-worker, who is the biggest gossip in the small town where I grew up. This apparent little jem of a story was quickly being discussed by the LUNCH LADIES at the high school! Of course my aunt on my dad's side works at the school, and she found out quickly and was immediately on the phone with my grandparents, who were under my dad's instructions to not tell yet. Good lord. So it's definitely coming from both sides of the family!

My MIL has cleaned out and photographed all the baby stuff they have at their house (like a U-Haul's worth), and is ready for us to come inspect and pick up ASAP. Um, can they at least wait until the 2nd trimester before we start filling our house with baby stuff?????? Sheesh. Chill out people! It's hard enough for me to chill out; I don't need everyone breathing down my neck! I'm very grateful to be able to receive some hand-me-downs, but it isn't time yet!

Other than that, D and I went out to dinner for my BFF's birthday last night, where everyone was enjoying cocktails and sushi. Bummer! Not that I would trade this for some raw fish and some vodka :-) Been there, done that.

Hope you all had a good weekend.

The Knocked Up Flu

Hit by a bus is what I felt like today. I think the Knocked Up Flu has finally set in. I am not particularly queasy, but just WIPED OUT. I just feel like a slug!

And I am quickly growing out of my clothes, which is somewhat depressing. My co-worker was wearing her regular jeans at 20 weeks! I realize that's not normal, but I am busting out all over already. And I work out! Yikes. I guess my body is used to good daily workouts though, and they just haven't been as long or as frequent lately. I might as well take this time to just indulge :0

I think I am definitely going to have to buy some 'in-between" jeans. Mine aren't going to make it much longer. I am starting to crave sweets again. That is more like it! I wasn't looking forward to months of beef jerky!

3 days til the ultrasound!

I am bummed to hear about Baby Hungry's loss today. My heart goes out to her :(

Holding Steady

Well, once again I don't have much to report. I know that is a blessing to be 6 weeks and still feeling fine. There is plenty of time to feel like hell! I am still anxiously awaiting the u/s next Tuesday. Unfortunately D has to go to DC for work and will miss it! I called to see if we could reschedule it for the end of this week so he could be there, and the MA said that was fine. She did say, though, that seeing the heartbeat this week would be hit or miss, and that if it wasn't visible, we would have to come back anyway. I decided to just go to the appt by myself. I can always scan the pic and email to D. I know there will be plenty of appts for him to attend!

As for symptoms, I am still having crazy night sweats like nothing I have ever experienced before. I mean, this is all out waking up drenched craziness! I also seem to have a constant stuffy nose without actually having a cold to speak of. I don't know if this is from no longer taking my Flonase, or just pregnancy stuffiness. 9 months of sleeping with Vicks under my nose may get rather old! I also feel really hungry, and I do think the fatigue has set in, although I still can't sleep well! And despite still working out, my pants are not fitting well these days. The weight gain has begun :)

Waiting

Thank you to everyone who commented on my last post. We decided to just wait until the u/s scheduled for next Tuesday. I don't want to be so paranoid!

Weekend was good and low key. I feel pretty darn tired and crabby!

When I lie down to sleep at night, my nose is stuffed up every night for no apparent reason. My co-worker said she had this same thing throughout both her pregnancies. Awesome. And I have also been sweating during the night, so I wake up all sweaty, even though we have the window open and fans on, and it's not more than 70 degrees in there. Poor D, pretty soon I'll have a fan IN the window, which seems ridiculous b/c it's cold here!

The fur babies also seem to think they need to sleep in bed with us every night now. They are manipulative! The things we do for our dogs!

Paranoid

So. I know it's still really early, and I've had SO people tell me it's too early to notice PG symptoms, I am paranoid. Paranoid that when I go for my u/s on 10/13 there is going to be no heartbeat. Obviously I have no reason to truly be paranoid, but my co-worker's sister recently got PG through my same RE and that exact thing happened to her. I know she is not me. I get that. But I really feel like I should feel more crappy at this point. I wouldn't even say that I feel particularly tired, and I haven't been sleeping well!

I do realize how whiny this email will come across to most of you. I am extremely thankful to have received a BFP, don't get me wrong. After 15 months of TTC though, it just seems too good to be true, and especially to not FEEL pregnant yet. I would honestly cherish some puking right now! Seriously, just some kind of sign to show me that things are on track.

And I totally get if people are no longer interested to read this blog, esp with posts like this one! I just needed to get it off my chest though.

Status Quo

Well, I really don't have much to report, which I guess is a good thing. I think I'm starting to have a few more symptoms; my boobs are starting to hurt a little more and a bit more regularly. This afternoon I felt somewhat queasy, and I definitely notice that my usual appetite for fruit and sweets is not nearly what it was. I normally eat quite a bit of fruit, but it really doesn't seem particularly appetizing to me right now. On Saturday while driving to MN, I ate a Zone bar for breakfast, something I normally love. It seemed extremely sweet to me, and all I wanted after that was beef jerky. Yes, seriously. Beef jerky from the gas station. I ate a WHOLE bag of it in one sitting. At 10:00 AM! That is not normal.

I also have not been sleeping very well, which I was really hoping would not happen. I am someone who has struggled with insomnia and anxiety since Junior High. It's definitely chronic, as far as the insomnia is concerned. I have seen a few different psychiatrists over the years, and been on many different meds to try to help. The one savior that has finally worked wonders for me over the last 5 years is Klonopin (clonazapam). It is unfortunately not on a list of fairly safe things to take during pregnancy. So I weaned off it for the most part, but I'm not sleeping well without it. My substitution for it, which my RE has approved, is Elavil, but unfortunately that just doesn't do it. I also take Prozac for the anxiety, which I know many people take during pregnancy and have for years. My psychiatrist put me on that drug specifically while TTC b/c he claimed it was the safest choice. Of course my RE has a huge problem with that for whatever reason, claiming *she* has the *latest* data on these things. Um, okay.

I obviously don't want to take anything that could harm my growing baby, but I also have done enough research to know that anxiety/stress and insomnia are NOT good for pregnancy. So quite the insomnia going on around here, and I must say, I will welcome the extreme fatigue that is no doubt heading my way; maybe it will help me sleep!